Victor's Secret

Dear Reid,

I seem to have this minor problem, and people say that you give really great advice, so I thought that you might be able to help me, since it’s something that I really can’t discuss with my friends. A while back I was doing my laundry, when I came upon a pair of my girlfriend’s underwear. They had this little Christmas motif on them with Santa, and reindeer, and all sorts of other little nifty things. Anyway, when I got home, I was real curious about how they fit, so I tried them on. It was as if the gates of heaven had opened and I could see paradise. I felt so sexy and slinky that it made my flesh crawl. Ever since that day, I have periodically borrowed my girlfriend’s underwear without her knowledge. I always feel guilty about it, so I think I should tell her what’s going on so I can get her permission. But I’m afraid to tell her about it because I’m afraid she’ll become disgusted and leave me. Please help me by giving me guidance down the right path. Thanks.

Sincerely,
Victor’s Secret

I know how you feel. Well, at least I think I can understand your feelings. Um, actually, I’m not even so sure of that… but believe me, it’s OK to feel what you’re feeling. I think. Anyway, you don’t have to feel alone anymore, because your problem isn’t as uncommon as it may seem to you. Many men wonder what it would be like to wear a bra and panties under their clothing. They imagine the soft, silky feel of the fabric, tight and close to the skin. They dream of the added support and comfort around the torso that no V-necked Hanes T-shirt can provide. Even Jockey shorts, with that weird pouch thing at the front, can’t match the close-cradled feel of a nice silk pair of unmentionables.

Don’t be ashamed of your habit; in fact don’t even think of it as a habit. Call it a hobby. Be open with your girlfriend. She may, at first, react with apprehension, but it is imperative that you tell her. While it is perfectly acceptable, in this day and age, to wear the undergarments of the opposite sex, it is still wrong to steal. In fact, your girlfriend will probably be excited to learn that she has a new person with whom to shop for lingerie. This could become a new bonding experience for the two of you. At any rate, it will change your relationship a whole whole whole lot… really. It is well known (at least to those who know about such things) that the lingerie store is one of the most romantic – not to mention successful, if you know what I mean – places to bring a date. Imagine the possibilities.

To be sure, this will be a life-changing experience for you. And if you’re ever feeling lonely, unaccepted, or just plain dirty, just repeat what your fellow women’s underwear enthusiast, the master film maker Ed Wood, said when asked why he chose to dress in drag: “I like it!” At least I think that’s when he said it… I forget because I only saw the movie once, and it was a while ago, and it really wasn’t very good.

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