How to tell if a boy likes you

Dear Reid,

I seem to be in a bit of an awkward situation. I work at this restaurant, and there’s this guy there. Well, there’s really more than one guy, but, well, I think you get where I’m coming from. Anyway, I think this guy has the hots for me. Now, I don’t mean to seem immodest, but he’s pretty blatant with his flirting – to the point where sometimes I think he’s just joking around. And I guess that’s the real problem. I just can’t tell if he really likes me or if he is just a big dork.

So, here’s my question: how do you know if a guy likes you? Tell me the kind of signals they send out. Tell me how I can differentiate between real flirting and dumbass humor. Is he just playing games? Tell me why guys have to be so damn mysterious all the time.

Sincerely,
Befuddled about Boys

We\'ve won a Dumb Blog award!I know how you feel. Your problem basically comes down to one simple fact, and it’s a fact that I have addressed before. Guys are stupid, glue-sniffing, boneheaded morons. Guys are not mysterious. Guys are not confusing. Guys say things, and they usually don’t think too much about what they say. If you think a guy is sending you signals, he is. Plain and simple. Guys simply don’t have the mental capacity to mess with your mind.

So basically, there is nothing I can do to help you. The guy is not the one sending out the mixed signals. Considering that he has succeeded in confusing you, it’s obviously you who’s not sending out the right signals. This problem also stems from the inherent male stupidity. If he has resorted to such flamboyant means of getting your attention as to seem comical to you, then he is obviously not picking up on your return signals. Now, you may think that you’ve been giving the right signals (whether positive or negative) back in his direction, that anyone should be able to pick up on, but he’s just too dumb to see them.

So, what you need to do is walk up to him, look him in the eyes, and say something that expresses your feelings in a clear and simple manner. It has to be easy for him to understand, to the effect of, “I think you’re a goon.,” “I don’t like you,” or “Leave me alone.” (NOTE TO GUYS: these would be examples of a negative signal. Hearing something like this should be a message to you that your charm is not being well received. The best thing to do in this situation is to try harder, you’re obviously not getting through to her. Chicks are kind of dumb that way.)

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536 Responses to “How to tell if a boy likes you”

  1. maddie Says:

    Reid do you like your job?
    you always say “I know how you feel”.
    And ALWAYS seem to wite with a “your so stupid attitude”
    Some girls just want to know if a boy likes them….
    It’s a little pathetic, and they sould just get some guts and ask. But why do you write mean things?
    Just asking.

  2. boy older than me Says:

    i like this boy at my school and he is in yr 8 but i dnt knw how to tell him please help ? thanx

  3. Candace Says:

    There is this boy at school. He is in my spanish class. I liked him snc last year. I found out he broke up with his girlfriend two weeks ago. I like him, I told him last year. He keeps saying “Leave me alone”, “EEeeeeeeWWWWWWWWW”, or “Your ugly ,I”ll never date you”. We both enjoy texting eachother just as long as its not about a relationship. What should I do?

  4. i like him but does he like me? Says:

    ok so here it is…
    i rly like REALLY like this guy and he’s been kinda seaming like he likes me…
    like 4 one we had this feild trip and i was sittin next 2 him n after the play was over my friends both told me that he was leaning on me and tilting his head…
    and another is like i was sittin in the classroom on the other side of the room from him and i wasnt with any of mi friends and he was with alll of his friends but i could see him stareing at me…
    so yeah please help me people…

  5. ♥Crushing♥on♥a♥Friend♥ Says:

    ♥Ok so heres the thing♥
    ♥i like this guy but he’s my friend and i don’t wanna ruin our friendship by telling him i like/♥ (more ♥!) him UNLESS i find out that he likes me back♥
    ♥so we went to this school field trip and it was a play (idk if that matters)♥
    ♥so i’m sitting next to him and next to my friend (she was sooo pissed cuz she likes him)♥
    ♥During the play (in the dark) he starts to lean on me (and i would lean my head towards him) and whenever there was a funny part we would look at each-other and giggle then just stare for like 10 secs♥
    ♥and another time i was sittin by my self and i saw him and he was STARING at me♥♥♥
    ♥he has invited me over his house (and i’v gone) and to other places outside of school♥
    ♥♥♥I’m sorrey that was so long but i just want to know what you guys thing if he likes me or not?♥♥♥

  6. Nicole Says:

    Hi reid,
    okay this is a wierd one for you.
    I like this guy and he likes me for about 1 year and a half.
    Okay so here’s what he does. He stares at me at math. I play football with his friends and all he does is look at me. he always listens to my converstations when i talk about boys and then the best thing of all; he put alot of pics of me in the yearbook…even with me pasted right by his side.
    BUT he tells all his friends that he doesn’t like me and that we would never work. But he only tells this one girl [AKA. by bestest friend] about me. How should this matter be addressed?
    Please help me…anyone?

  7. Liz Says:

    ok soo i have know this guy for 5 yrs but i havent seen him in 5yrs until around 2 weeks ago. we have been texting non stop and i have been loving it.. we talk about everything i mean everything and we have shared all of the hard stuf in our pasts ect.. we went out to coffee and had a great time and i have told him over and over “i want to be just friends” he has agreed and said thats cool and he loves being friends but he still flurts and says really cute charming stuff but i dont like him like that… so i dont really know what to do.. i love talking to him and i love when he says the nice things and treats me special but i know i dont want more then friends with him and i dont want to hurt him or lead him on.. he has been hurt way to much in the past sooo… is he lying to me by saying he is good with just being friends and what should i do???

  8. jen Says:

    I know this guy and i think he likes me but im not sure. i really like him though. first he kept calling me katy perry (my last name) and i asked hm why he was calling me that and he said because shes cool..and then he mumbled “and so are you” then he walked away. he kind of teases me but its kinda mean..and then one day he was looking at me with a smile and didnt look away when i looked..but then i looked away..and i dont know. do you think he likes me?

  9. confuzzled :( Says:

    okai, so theres this boy i lyk, i hav known him for about 4 yrs, but not very well, and this year i was put in all of his classes, i sit next to him in a lot of classes, and we walk to lessons together, he has told me he loves me 3 times, and he hugs me, and flirts – ALOT! but he has a girlfriend, and im not sure whether he is bein friendly or he actually likes me. my friend thinks he lyks me, and she keeps sayin how compatible we r, he treats me really sweet, opens doors, pulls out my chair etc. but im really confused…
    plz help,
    confuzzled :(

  10. MichaelLuvr Says:

    OKAY SO,
    theres this dude. (kinda obvious) i like him soooooo much (like i dream about him) and i hav NO idea if he likes me. i see him staring at me, but i dont know if its me that hes staring at!!! i told my best friend and shes all “EW.” but i think he shows off in front of me. like today after school a bunch of ppl were hangin outside and there were 2 hula hoops. so they were contesting and hes like trying to mess up the ppl. he tried to make me laugh, and it worked. ive liked him before and he found out, but then i told everyone i didnt anymore. sry that was long, but, PLEASE PLEASE SAY HE LIKES ME!!!!

  11. MichaelLuvr Says:

    if he stares at u thats a sign rite? and the other day my friend (who is in his class) told me he likes me, but then a day later he said he lied. I practically LOVE him and im confused. help?

  12. shanice Says:

    i like a boy named kadrick and he use to like me but when he went to his ex girlfriend Shazaria classroom he starts likeing her again

  13. cheese box Says:

    i’ve just told a boy i like him and now he won’t even talk to me face to face only on MSN. WE used to be ok friends before but now i don’t even catch him looking at me which he done ALOT. i told him about 3 weeks ago and now i’m not sure if he likes me and is embarrassed to say so or if i just wrecked a really good frendship. help?!

  14. keely Says:

    well if he does’nt even talk to you only on msn then don’t worry about him boys are a waste of time i learn’t that from the best

  15. soinlovewiththisboywhodoesntlikemelikethat Says:

    there is this boy i am in love with. i talk to him all the time, but i cant tell if he likes me or not. everytime i have a boyfriend he is always around though. today in the cafeteria he pulled a chair out from under me and i fell flat on my butt. everytime i get a new boyfriend he is always around though and he talks to them more than what he usually does though and he tells them stuff to try to get them to break up with me, but it kind of seems like he flirts with my friend too and she flirts with him but she said she doesnt like him. i just dont know what to do. i want to get his attension. i just want him to like. i am soo in love with him. i went out with him for 2 months but then he broke up with me and i cried for a while and i am still depressed about it. i got my heart broken and that was in febuary.

    please tell me what to do??
    i just want him to like me!!!!!!!!!!!!
    =(
    help?!?!?!?!

  16. Jessica Says:

    theres this boy i like and we used to talk at running club after school but then running club was over so while i was at art class today sitting at my asighned seat with trystan and jon and trystan asked me if me and the boy i like (dakota)were still going out i said we were never going out so he tells dakota no then later i ask trystan why he asked me that question hes like dakota asked me im like but we never were going out then i start laughing at jons (aka dude i used to like until he blew it)jokes later at the end of the day trystan told dakota i was flirting with jon but i wasnt so dakota comes over to me and says i heard you were flirting with jon im like i wasnt flirting and he sits down next to me he dakota allways tries to impress me he smiles at me alot he also looks at me alot .but do i tell him i like him or let it be because i still like him and i think he likes me too!!! HELP HELP HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. Puzzled to death! Says:

    This boy, Andrew, gave me a flower the other day. I think he likes me, but another boy Tanner makes me laugh just as much as Andrew. I also sit with another boy named Andre. He makes me crack up. Andre told me that I am his “home dog” and his “homie”. I am confussed about all these boys! I think they all like me, and I really want to know! I also want to know why I am the only one that Andrew gave a flower to! I am almost positive that he likes me for sure. I need a lot of help. Another boy I knew last year I also like. His name is Michale. He doesn’t go to my school, but he invited me to his house many times before. I know he likes me, but I like all of these boys! I need serious help! Many boys have always liked me, but I accualy like these boys! I know boys are dumb, but these boys are smart and are so cute. Should I tell them how I feel? Of should I just continue? The school year is almost over and I need to know! Please help me out. You know I’m confused…

  18. Iesha Says:

    Ok i really like this guy in my class and we use to really hate each other but then we got past all of that,then on day me and him and another friend of mine was walking home from school in the winnter and it was so cute that we just start touching me and i was like stop but i couldnt help it but after that day we have been really close.But in that winnter he went out with this really crazy chick who love to cut herself but now they r broken up and he knows that i like him and the girl he wnt with left him 4 another girl but now gose out with another guy and last night when we talked he just start crying about her and how much her loved her and i got really mad but i didn’t want to let it show so i kept telling him that he needs to get back with her but i really like him and now i don’t know what to do they dont go out but im going to be really sad if they do can someone plz help me what should i do

  19. tenali Says:

    hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

    i just want to know that the boy is of nice nature but his friends were creating missunderstandings between us ……..so i just want to know that what can i do know …………………….please tell me ………………

  20. Destiney Says:

    Okay well here’s the deal…I have the BIGGEST crush on this guy who lives in Italy. I met him last summer when I went for a 2 month trip with my mom, and now I am devoted to him. I love him sooooo much, but when I first met him I lost my chance to tell him that. The evening that I had first met him on, he asked my new girlfriends to ask me privatly if I “loved him”. Now, that put me in the most awkward postion of all time since I had just met those new girlfriends and I didn’t want to risk telling them that yes I did like him, because I thought that they would have thought that I was weird for likingh him then they wouldn’t wanna be my friend no more. So, being under pressure, I told them that I didn’t like him that way, which was the biggest mistake of my lifetime. After they told him that, he was like ” That’s okay”, and we continuedplaying around with different Italian games and stuff. After that we all went on a walk ( including him) down this long, old, cool street In Aiello Calabro, and we were having alot of fun. I could tell that he liked me then, but as the days passed by, I felt so bad for telling him that i didn’t like him, because also as the days passed by, he didn’t seem to like me anymore. Now that I’m back in Canada, I feel so depressedthat I’ve been spending my life on the computer looking up depressing love songs and reading about peoples messed up love lifes. Now, I am begging you, I really need help with this problem. I don’t know what to do about my love for Vincenzo. My mom and I don’t have enough money for us to go back next year and my job won’t help even a little bit. So please, with all my heart, I’m begging you for some help with my problem. PLEASE!! :'(

  21. confused Says:

    ok, so theres this guy who added me on msn. we havent known each other long but he keeps telling me he likes me. I know you shouldnt trust people over the internet and i keep telling him that. But i ask him all these questions – like school and stuff and i really think he is who he says he is. because i think i like him. but obviously if i did meet him i wouldnt go on my own because you still cant trust what people say. but should i meet him? help!

  22. Boy Crazy Says:

    Hey Reid,

    There is this guy that I have liked since last year. Well I can’t tell if he likes me or not. When I first started to like him I told my best friend that I liked him she just happened to have him in her class. So she told him that I liked him and all he said was “I don’t know”. Now he is in a after school program with me and all he does is stare at me. But when I have my friends ask him if he likes me and he tells them that he doesn’t like me. Also he told his best friend that he liked me and his friend told me. Now when I ask him on the phone if it was true he says no(P.S. I can never ask him up close because he is always surrounded by his friends and i’m to shy to actually talk to him.)

  23. Hopper Says:

    Hi Reid,

    ok get this i have known a guy for 13 years and we are really good friends. i asked him out 2 and he kept saying no and now this year i asked him again and he said may be but then my best friend him took him from me. but wen they were dating me and him were in lang. and he grabed my butt and started playing the nervouse game wit me. then that night i called him and i asked him why he did that and he said for fun but then he said that he liked it. and now all the time he stairs at me but hes dating someone and now i dont know if he likes me can u help me plz i need ur help

  24. Bella Says:

    Why are all the comments on here questions? You’ll NEVER have time to get through them all! I have my own confusing, complicated problems regarding boys that I want advice for, but I know you’ll not get the time to reply, and I’m not sure how much it’d help if you did. Besides, it’d take too long to write, and I’d only end up embarrassing myself anonymously for nothing. Why am I leaving this comment? It has to be the most pointless comment in the history of comments; I want help, but won’t explain the problem! I’m so time-waster sometimes. (that’s the closest I can come to saying I’m stupid without sounding self derogatory.)

  25. totally confused Says:

    Dear Reid,
    I really like this guy and I’ve liked him since last year, we had started talking but some things happened and he got mad at me. At the end of the year he kept going out of his way to bump in to me in the hallways so I took that as his way of forgiving me, after he found out that it was all just a big misunderstanding,and I think he cares about me or did anyways because a girl was bad mouthing me and he stood up for me, that was last year. He’s now a freshman, im in the 8th grade, I still have very strong feelings for him, but I’ve heard from someone tht he has a gf, but I don’t think its true. Does he still care about me? And should I try things out again with him next year or just forget about him and move on? Should I believe the whole girlfriend thing?

  26. Titi Says:

    awww. i know how you feel,,:)
    There’s a boy that i have class with him last year,but i wasn’t that attractive with him.Unitl almost end of the year i starting to feel alittle bit,,intesting in him,,but i can’t do anything about it,cause i never talk with him,even though we have the same class.
    this year i was so happy to see him in my class again,and i still have the feeling with him,but he never know it…still, i never talk with him.
    2 months after the school started. i starting to notice that he seem to stairing at me whenever i’m busy doing my work in class,i don’t think it means anything. but oneday i was standing in the classroom,and i notice that he was stairing at me,,,but when i trying to turn my face facing him,he quickly turn his face and look different direction from me. i still found him stairing at me. often!,,,i wish someday he’ll know how i feel about him.

    please tell me what i should do?

  27. ika Says:

    here’s my story…

    don’t read if you have a little attention span or you can’t give yourself 5 minutes to read.

    i really like this boy. that time in math class, this boy sit in front of me.. and i told him there was something in his hair so i was messsing with his hair.. and then he went blushing and mess with his hair… and he asked me if there’s any more in hair (no, it’s not dandruff). then when i was concerntrating, he turn his head to me and stare at me and was making cute faces…but i was like, “no, im concerntrating” in my mind.. so i just ignore him. thenn he gets too cute and i push his face aside and he’s like holding my hand.. then he smiled at me. we both gets blushed and the whole class went, “WHOOOOOOO!!!!”

    then at the time in comp lab, my teacher was lecturing the whole class… and i noticed he keep looking at my direction (at me), but when i looked at him, our eyes met but in a second he looked away… (my friend notice it too).

    so all of the sudden, weeks had passed, i began to be mean to him… make mean jokes about him… and so in the bus i fought with him… i really hated this part because he’s being a total jerk. i fought with him cos he took my bag to get a “revenge” and then throw at another seat.. i was really in a bad mood so i was kind of pulled his hair really hard so he punched me in the back.

    so the next day i chatted with him the msn, i said sorry.. and ask him if it hurts.. he said,”no, it grew longer” and we chatted like random things… he keeps typing such random things… and i was like, “wtf? o.o”

    then the day after tomorrow the class had an geog class…i sit behind him.. and i noticed that he seems very uneasy and easily distracted… and my friends and his friends keep teasing about us… and he keeps looking behind (as i sit behind him) hoping to notice him but i act like as if nothing has happened.. i mean i ignored him.

    so now, we’re like lost in touch (because of the 2 month holiday)… and hey, we never text each other.. or had a real conversation or even go out. because he had this “ego” in himself and he admits to me that he’s a computer geek…

    and we seldom talk in class…

    and my friend told her friend to ask this boy if he likes me (without me knowing until she told me about it), and he said no…

    Should I just forget about him? AND “MOVE ON”?

  28. Melanie Says:

    Ok so I really like this guy, and I always talk to him sometimes we walk to class together occasionally I see him glance at me, he also kinda gets slightly perverted while talking to me sum times, but I gave him a Christmas resent and then he patted me on the shoulder:'( Im practically convinced he’s uninterested and I’m all depressed bout it, is he uninterested, or am I just tripp’in, please help
    me out :P (srry this is so long)

  29. Nat Says:

    I’m 17 and he’s 18. We have known eachother for about six years now, and (I think) that there has always been that attraction between us, because he always seems to treat me differently than other girls, and he seems to behave differently around me than he does around other girls. I am really confused here. Most of the time I can think back and I can be pretty sure that he likes me. He is the brother of a girl that I play soccer with, and at games (when he comes) he is always looking at me. At practices (when we sporadically have practices with the team he is on) he always seems to treat me differently than the rest of the girls. Although it’s almost like he seems afraid of me. He looks at me all the time, but while he will talk to the other girls and interact with them a little bit (he’s fairly shy, as am I), even if I say something to him he pretty much pretends not to here me. Except for this one time at a soccer practice when we were on the same team, and our team was off, so we went to sit down and wait for our turn, and while he usually stands way over on the side of the stage (in the gym where we were practicing) this time he came over and sat right (and I mean RIGHT) beside me every time. He actually ended up sitting in the exact same position as me.

    The other big thing was that I added him as a friend on Facebook (hoping that maybe that would make him a bit more comfortable with me) and he accepted, but he still completely ignores me.

    I’m sorry if this is long and confusing, but I really don’t know what to do. Sometimes he seems like he’s interested, and sometimes he seems like he wants nothing to do with me. I just really need a second opinion. And by the way, telling me to just ask him isn’t really an option at this point because I’m on a soccer team with his sister and his mom is my soccer coach, and I don’t want things to get really awkward.

  30. blanca Says:

    Hey Reid,
    I have a very important question I met this guy last year maybe in September and I talked to him ever since and now I have his number and we mostly always talk and he always makes me laugh I told him that I like him and he said “ewww” and when I seen him the next day he hardly even talked to me but like every day he makes faces at me that makes me laugh and if I pass by him he always smiles and sometimes says something mean but in a nice way. But on Tuesday he wants me to ask out a girl for him and I didn’t even say anything except ok but I just want to know if he really was lying when he said ewww and when someone told him that I liked him he said he hated me but I don’t think it’s true should I ask him out or should I forget about liking him at all.
    So please help me with my problem!

    Blanca

  31. Blanca Says:

    Hey Reid,
    It is me Blanca again I forgot to add at the boy that I really like always stares and texts me all the time but I did something to make him kind of jealous two days ago I told him that to boys came up to me asking me out cause it was true but he said it was up to me for who I go out with but I really like him but when he told me ewww it really broke my heart but I still like him a lot so I just want to know if I should just be friends or should I ask him out??? Please help me with my problem please…
    Blanca

  32. Jamie Says:

    On new years eve, I met a sweet and very cute boy. He was friends with my friends family, who happens to be my neighbour. We had a big party on our court and almost everbody from every house came out and mingled. I was looking for my friend, and found her, with a girl and a very very cute boy. I shyly cautioned for my friend to walk over, and I asked who they were, she told me that they were all friends. So we all talked and got the basics on everyone, and I started to crush on him. We went over to eachothers houses and everything. Then out if the blue, we played truth or dare, and he was asked if he liked me. I was stunned by the answer which was a yes! So I was devestated when he had to leave. But we hugged. Then we spent the whole next day altogether again, playing pingpong and laughing, sadly this time when they left it was for good. :( I waved goodbye and he was gone, and stupid me I didn’t get any contacts, and my friend doesn’t know either. I want to talk to him again, what should I do?

  33. Chloe Says:

    im in primary school and i REALLY like this boy in my class! hes so funny and he NEVER stops cracking up jokes! not the jokes where its like “why did the whale cross the sea”OH NO NOT THOSE JOKES!

  34. Chloe Says:

    the boy i like in my class stood up for me when im couldnt play rounders!
    the first time ANYONE stood up for me!

  35. help i need money now Says:

    help i need money now…

    [...]How to tell if a boy likes you « Dear Reid[...]…

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