Using someone to lose your virginity

Dear Reid,

So I got a boyfriend, but I don’t love him. I think I just want to use him to lose my virginity. I know it’s bad—I know that I should break up with her—but I want some experience in sex before I go into a real relationship. I think he doesn’t love me either.

My real problem is that I think I’m in love with my gym teacher. I’m 18 and he’s 8 years older than me. I think he likes me, too, in some way. I’m feeling weird when I’m around him, and today we talked on MSN and we got along pretty well. So I don’t really know what I want, or what should I do. Please give me some advice!

Susie

I know how you feel. It’s hard being a virgin, and I should know. No, not because I am one (really, I have had sex, I swear!) but because I’ve seen The 40-Year-Old Virgin like 5 times. Regardless, it’s not really that uncommon to use someone for sex; especially if they’re getting paid for it. The going rate, I believe, is something like $200 an hour—not that I’d know from first-hand experience. (No pun intended.)

But, Susie, it appears as if you’re confused about a lot more than just your gym teacher here. It appears that your real confusion is with gender identity. You say you “got a boyfriend” but you know that you should “break up with her.” And, in 10 years of giving utterly useless advice™, I can’t remember a single time when a girl was worried about using someone for sex.

Come clean, Susie, are you really a male? I think you need to sort out your gender and sexuality issues a little bit before you go hopping into bed with the first person who’s willing. And definitely before you go after someone much older than you. Finally, are you sure this gym teacher is even gay? (You know how I know you’re gay? Because you like Coldplay.)

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