Aquaman to the rescue!

Dear Reid,

My name is Jide Anih, I am an accountant working with Anthony Anih & Co., a chartered accounting firm as deputy Auditor-General. I am the second child of Professor Anthony Udoh Anih. My father Prof. Anthony Anih was the erstwhile Minister of Finance and economic planning of the federal government of Nigeria, Under the defunct regime of Late Gen. Sani Abacha. As you may already know there’s a return to civil rule in my country.

The present government is presently on a secret mission to frustrate and possiblely eliminate all those who served under the late Gen. Sani Abacha. It may interest you to know that the present president was jailed, during the regime of Gen. Sani Abacha. Based on this, many former officials of the late General are either in jail, dead or in exile. A typical example is the long detention of the son of the former head of state Mohammed Abacha and his Chief Security Officer (C.S.O.) Major Al-Hamza Mustapha. Today my father and indeed our entire family is been secretly persecuted and oppressed.

Last year my father won a celebrated case against the government of the day, at the Supreme Court of Justice. The loss seriously embarrassed the government, who accused my father of embezzling public funds and laundering them in a European security company. They requested that the European Union freeze and seize the money and return it to them. But the court in its wisdom discovered that the money has been deposited, long before my father’s involvement in government. Based on these discoveries, the court ruled that my father be discharged and acquitted.

Shortly after this ruling, my elder brother Anthony Anih, Jr., who filed the suit, was shot dead by men believed to be secret agents. This very incident caused my father to suffer a stroke, confining him to a wheelchair. Meanwhile my mother, Dr. Mrs. Eunice Anih lost her fifteen-year battle with diabetes; she died on her sick bed three weeks after my brother was murdered.

The very incident that forced me to seek foreign help, is that which happened a few days back. I was traveling to Germany to arrange for my father’s transfer to a German hospital when some secret agents accosted me. They blindfolded me and dumped me in a car trunk and drove me to an unknown destination. I was detained for five days, during which they asked me to transfer all documents pertaining to my family abroad and also a dossier which my father prepared long ago. This dossier contains reports indicting many government officials who incidentally are still in government, for corrupt practices. I told them that I didn’t have the documents.

After much pressure, they gave in and released me but held onto my international passport and my travelling documents. Today my family business has all collapsed because of government sanctions. Our family friends have all deserted us for fear of what the government will do to them.

Sir, As it stands today I know that it won’t be long before the secret agents will return. Sir, with my father’s blessing I solicit your assistance in retrieving our money, deposited with a European security company. The money is worth over $55 Million U.S. All you need to do is act as the beneficiary of the money. We have agreed to let you have 30% of the total sum. Please Sir, we are hoping that you will be kindhearted enough to help save us from extinction. If our situation touches your heart send me your telephone and fax numbers so that I can reach you and send the necessary papers to you before the agents get to it. May you remain blessed as you help us. Thank you for your anticipated kindness.

Yours faithfully,

JIDE ANIH

I know how you feel. This sounds like a job for Aquaman.

Born of royal and sorcerous Atlantean blood, the infant Prince Orin was abandoned on Mercy Reef. His crime — having blond hair, which according to Atlantean myth signifies the Curse of Kordax. The child, left for dead, was rescued and raised by the dolphin Porm- until finding his way into the care of Arthur Curry, a lighthouse keeper.

As a young man, Aquaman discovered he possessed tremendous strength and speed and the ability to communicate telepathically with all marine life. He helped found the Justice League of America and later led the group. Discovering his royal heritage, he reclaimed his birthright as King of Atlantis, eventually taking Mera, the deposed queen of another dimension, as his bride. The tumultuous nature of that relationship, which included the death of their child, was only worsened by the events of the Imperiex War, during which Aquaman sacrificed himself and his people, trapping them thousands of years in the past.

The Atlanteans were enslaved by their sorcerous ancestors for more than fifteen years before Aquaman, aided by the JLA, returned them to the modern day. To effect the rescue, Aquaman was forced to re-sink ancient Atlantis, shaking the foundations of Atlantean faith. For this, he was deposed as king and once more banished from the seas.

Barely alive, with his own oceans turned against him, the outcast King of the Seas was visited by the Lady Of The Lake. She restored his health and appointed him “Waterbearer” — a role whose full depth Orin has only begun to explore.

Ordinarily, when helping the persecuted retreive their family fortunes from oppressive governments and organized crime families, Aquaman charges a flat rate of 50%. However, because his life story is so similar to yours, he is willing to make an exception for your especially traumatic case.

You can reach Aquaman at: 1-800-AQUA-MAN, or even via Internet mail at wetboy@superfriends.org. Aquaman accepts cash, money orders, and all major credit cards. He does not accept personal checks!

Note to readers: The letter above is a common form of Internet scam. You’d be safest to delete any similar messages you receive. Do not try to contact Aquaman and seek his help. In addition, most of the Aquaman biography above was used without permission from DC Comics, because the author of this Web site has very low ethical standards.

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