Incomprehensible gibberish

Dear Reid,

My Girl friend and i have been into a great relationship for almost one year now. She is married but seperated. she has a friend of a long time and I”am starting to come to a conclusion that maybe she mike be gay. When she talking to her friend over the phone the conversation is always at low point meaning that most of the talking comes from the friend.

my girlfriend always talks very low to her. They hang out often but she is always home by 2:00 am both of them have kids and her friend is also married .I have never noticed the two of them to act gay when I am in their presents To make a long story short, am I wrong for thinking this way I have tried to dismiss this thought many times accept that they are close friends but I’m no sure just what to think. I have asked her if she ever had ever been into bed with any woman and her answer was no. please help make my thoughts clear.

Busy Bill

I know how you feel. The amazing thing to me, Bill, is that you believe your thoughts to be unclear at present. I mean, it should be obvious to anyone reading the incomprehensible gibberish you’ve spewed out here that there’s not a thought in your head. Congratulations, your thoughts are completely clear—and by that I mean empty. Normally I edit these letters a little before posting them, but you’ve made so many grammatical, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling errors in this thing that I don’t even know where to start.

What I can tell you, though, is my theory about why your girlfriend talks quietly on the phone to her friend. She’s obviously talking about what a complete boob you are, and is nice enough to lower her voice so you won’t hear it. Women talk to each other, Bill, and their favorite subject is always the men in their lives. But it wouldn’t be “girl talk” if you were privy to the conversation, would it? Get over your worries, and be happy that you were able to snare any woman at all. Look at me: I can’t get a date but at least I know how to write in complete sentences.

By the way, who’s Mike?


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