I can’t understand what’s going on in the world today. The Vice President has gone on a murderous rampage, people are rioting in the streets because of some silly Danish drawings, and pudgy old Saddam Hussein is apparently on a hunger strike. I feel like I should be doing something to help stop all the nonsense, but I just don’t know what to do. Should I hold a peace protest, or run for office? Maybe set up an online petition? Please help, Dear Reid!
I know how you feel. I’m not one to go on and on about politics very often, but this whole comic uprising is just annoying the piss out of me. People are literally rioting and killing each other because they’re offended by some editorial cartoons first published in Denmark.
Look at those things. They’re not even funny, let alone offensive. I could draw a way more offensive cartoon in like 10 seconds. Ooh, we’re depicting the Prophet Muhammed with a bomb fuse sticking out of his turban! Daring! Speaks a lot to how some segments of society are just waiting for an excuse to get riled up.
And now they’re out in the streets chanting “Death to America” and burning down KFC and Pizza Hut. What did the Colonel do to provoke them? The cartoons were Danish for Christ’s sake—if anything, they should be burning Legos in effigy. These people are clearly just looking for an enemy.
What happened to the days when riots were over important things, like hockey games and soccer matches? Oh, right, you don’t get 72 virgins when you die for your soccer team.
The best thing for us to do, I guess, is eat more fast food. McDonald’s anyone?